This homily is a reflection on the art and science of forgiveness.

So, how does Peter come to the idea that Jesus was asking him to forgive as many as seven times? In Peter’s mind & in the Hebrew Scriptures, three times would be the maximum number of times I’d have to ask forgiveness. Peter knows Jesus is merciful/generous, so Peter doubles the three times & adds one: the cherry on the top! Jesus’ answer about forgiving 77 times must have confounded Peter, which is NOT surprising, because Christ’s law is new to Peter. And although you and I have heard it from Jesus, there’s still a lot of grudge-holding going on, or a lack of forgiveness, or a refusal to forgive others, even while WE ourselves need forgiveness.

Years ago, a family was putting together the guest list for their daughter’s wedding. Because of financial limits, they decided they could only invite 100 people to the reception. One family member, the one with the good handwriting, wrote up the guest list. And as it happened, 90 names fit on the front of the paper, and 10 names on the back. Well, when it came time to send out the invitations & the RSVPs, only the front page names received an invitation in the mail, while the 10 on the back didn’t receive anything.

In the big picture, it didn’t help that all ten on the back were of the same family branch, that is, one whole part of the family wasn’t invited to this family wedding. And you know? Even back then, people talked! Eventually, some who received an invitation had called some of those whom they THOUGHT would have received an invitation: imagine the hurt, anger, and sadness caused! When someone finally figured out what’d happened, and the mistake that’s been made, the other ten invitations went out, with a note of apology, and an honest explanation of the error.

But the damage had been done. It launched a TWO-generation boycott of family events: people skipped 1st Communions, Birthdays, Confirmations, other weddings and anniversaries. They also didn’t attend funerals of family members to whom they’d been linked for decades. That is, until an INSPIRED family member rallied some of the relatives for a discussion. Their question was: wasn’t it time to drop the anger/hurt & reconcile the family branches? Well, the PROCESS began at the wake of the grand matriarch, where people cried tears. Tears for what? Tears of regret, loss, relief, and even tears of joy that the war was ending.

Do you know how much energy it takes to refuse to forgive, or to hang onto grudges? Try this: make as tight a fist as you can. Feel how much ENERGY that takes. Now, open your hands: energy is released, and you can make room for new possibilities. Hugging wrath, rage & anger, holding onto hurt/pain are like holding our fists tight: it takes lots of energy, and it often only hurts us. Releasing those feelings can ALSO open us to experience peace & forgiveness God offers to US, & can open the door to future possible reconciliations. This can be very helpful for us.

For myself, the takeaway advice from the Gospel is a two-part blessing:

1.when you forgive someone else, you give yourself a gift of inner freedom, too. 2. When you forgive someone else, you show Jesus you are ready to receive his forgiveness, because you are imitating Jesus NOT just in His words, but his actions as well. Let all those who can hear the Good News, live it with their daily lives.